just a queer mom makin' dad jokes
Daughter, you are my dream come true. You are a seven foot tall praying mantis smoking a mahogany pipe and wearing a detective hat. You chased me into a dark alley and tried to eat me, but at the moment your fearsome jaws opened, you turned into a thousand monarch butterflies and floated away on the wind. Sometimes I wish you’d be more like the other girls.
"More than friends: The incredibly true story of how ol’ bacon hair and lasagna noodle head found love in the shawl factory"
Went to Target to buy a bath mat because my daughter has outgrown the infant tub. The “girl” option was literally just repeating lines of pink and orange hearts. The “boy” option? SWEET ASS SKELETON PIRATES ABOUT TO BATTLE AN OCTOPUS FOR TREASURE
Guess who got the boy mat.
wow im just going to leave this here